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You might be a woodworker if...
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This is my last blog post for Rockler, so for fun I thought I'd try asking our Twitter and Facebook followers to help me write it by completing the Jeff-Foxworthy-esque sentence, "You might be a woodworker if..." Here's a compilation of what our fans came up with!

You might be a woodworker if...

...you store turning stock under your bed.
...there is sawdust in your belly button.
...you can count fractions on your fingers.
...instead of saying "2 inches" you say "eight quarters". Chris Nilluka

...you are more concerned about dust collection than about the 50 extremely sharp chisels and saws hiding under that pile of shavings. @SplinteredBoard

...there is more sawdust than lint in the lint screen in your dryer. @CustomMadecom

...you use sawdust as body powder
...you think your dandruff is sawdust
...you think the movie Saw was a woodworking video. pspsteve

...you wash your hair and sawdust clogs the drain.
...you stop to pick up a pallet on the side of the road for the white oak scrap. (yes, I have)
...you've picked through the dumpster at a custom cabinet shop for exotic wood scraps. (yes, I have)
...you give your wife Eau de Oak perfume for Christmas. (looked, but can't find any)

...you leave your $30,000 car in the driveway so you don't scratch your new tablesaw in the garage. Steve Hartman

...you've bought $3000 worth of tools to make $300 worth of furniture. Jeff Coyne

...your children's sandbox is filled with sawdust! Wayne Gregory

...you look at the sky and see a section that you think looks "curly"! Lance McNulty

...you know how to pronounce "ipe", and its country of origin.
...you know hollow ground has nothing to do with coffee
...someone says burl and your first thought isn't Ives
...someone says birdseye and your first thought isn't frozen vegetables
...you've ever asked yourself,"What would Norm do?" Steve Hartman (again!)

...you have sawdust in your bra (or underwear for the guys)
...you have a tape measure in your purse
...you go to the hardware store to calm your colicky baby
...you can't wait til nap time so you can build! Christin McCool

...you won't buy a piece of furniture because you know you could make it better and/or cheaper yourself (even though you know you probably won't). Nancy Barvick

...when you [blow] your nose part of your last project comes out. Craig Brown

...you can identify bubinga by smell. Michael Stadtler

...you've never uttered the phrase "You know, I think I've got enough clamps." Steve Hartman (again!)

...your key chain has a small tape measure on it. vermontsenior

...your check register has more Rockler entries than Walmart entries. Wayne Williams

...the only fiber you get is the sawdust floating in your coffee cup! @LagunaTools

...you run your hand over a piece of wooden furniture rather than just looking at it. @lackriver

...blowing your nose generates enough wood to build a child's toy. John Vallario

...you're short half a finger and you haven't actually bought Christmas gifts in 10 years. @mmfww

And... you might be a wood TURNER if...
...you buy a bandsaw that costs more than your lathe... for the sole purpose of rounding out bowl blanks.

...you feel this unexplainable emptiness every time you throw a piece of wood in the fire
...you have a hard time finding a pen around the house that isn't made of wood... and you give your wife and kids nasty looks any time they pick up a plastic pen.

...your wife doesn't bother to call around looking for you any more. She just goes out to the shop when she needs you for anything.

...you nearly caused a car accident because you thought you saw some logs on the side of the road...
...golf clubs? Yeah... they're around here somewhere.
...you name your kids "Chuck" and "Burl"

...you name your dogs "Banjo", "Jet", "Oliver", or "Spalty"
...at your spouse's suggestion, you put a telephone, TV, and refrigerator in your shop... so you don't have to "carry sawdust into the house all day."

...you really - honestly - whole-heartedly - are torn between taking that vacation in Hawaii and buying that new big lathe with the 24" swing.

...you think that any household item can - and should - be replaced by something you make... from table legs to the toilet paper roll holder.

...you've walked around your neighborhood ? checking your neighbors' trees for burls.
...Heat on in the shop? Absolutely. Heat on in the house? "Go put on a sweater."
Steven Marlow

For more signs that you might be a woodworker, click over to Kari Hultman's blog, The Village Carpenter. After I asked our followers for ideas, I found out Kari had done an almost identical post a few years ago called "You know you're a woodworker when..."! Her post has ALL different responses, so be sure to pop over and take a look.

Do you know even more signs that you might be a woodworker? Leave them in the comments!

Thank you all for being Buzz Saw readers. Rockler is a fabulous place, and I will miss it, and miss writing for you. Keep Creating with Confidence! -Kim

posted on September 17, 2010 by Kim Adams
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15 thoughts on “You might be a woodworker if...”

  • Chuck Kaiser

    Way to go, Rockler! Good looking out for our troops. I bought my first set of cookies yesterday and can not believe the holding power! I set one down on my bench and pushed on it with all I had with no movement. Awesome!

  • Alex

    Bench cookies are pretty awesome. I have used them to hold a piece in place whilst I sand it, and it holds great. Also I used one as a clamp pad essentially, to go between the clamp jaw and the piece that had a finish on it when I cut a rebate into the bottom of a wide shelf to form legs. Worked great!

  • Allan H

    ...you enjoy the smell of Oak being cut on the saw.
    ...you think about what you want to do and spend hours doing nothing.
    ...your drivers seat is full of dust but you always clean the dirt on the mat.

  • Shawn

    You might be a woodworker if you wife has stopped commenting on any household items made of wood while at the store simply to avoid having you say "Honey I could build that for half the price."

    .....if your list of things you could build for half price could wrap the house twice. And you list of completed projects might wrap a chicklet.

    ..if you know that a rabbit plane is not transportation for farm animals.

  • RW

    Kim, you shall be missed! We at Carbide Processors have enjoyed keeping up with the blog. Good luck in your future endeavors. -RW

  • Kim Adams

    Thanks much, RW! :-D

  • Frank Speyerer

    Fair winds and following seas and long may your big jib draw!

  • John Vallario

    You think mating requires a Planer and Jointer

    Over half your fiber intake comes from sawdust

    If you've ever had a nightmare about sanding wood the just
    gets rougher and rougher

    You know Porter Cable isn't something they use at the airport
    to secure your luggage.

    You think - if its gonna be painted it may as well be plastic.

    You wish there were as many woodworking stores in your town
    as Starbucks.

  • Mike

    You might be a woodworker if you get a splinter in your hand and you call it a good day. You will be missed!

  • The Village Carpenter

    You might be a woodworker if you can come up with an endless stream of clever answers to this post. :D

  • Mom & Pop Wood Shop

    What a wonderful array of woodworking humor...

  • Dean

    "You feel this unexplainable emptiness every time you throw a piece of wood in the fire"... This is so true. My father used to tell me no matter how small the pieces keep it and use it later on. Throwing it away is like limiting your resources that is what may father used to tell me.

  • John Schor

    ...if you've seen the Sawstop hot dog video more than 10 times.

  • Jeremy

    LOL some good stuff there

  • Tom Andreas

    I have the same gents saw you picture, I love it. I use a lot of power tools and I couldn't live without them, but there are things you can do with some hand tools that cannot be none well any other way.

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