You might be a woodworker if...
This is my last blog post for Rockler, so for fun I thought I'd try asking our Twitter and Facebook followers to help me write it by completing the Jeff-Foxworthy-esque sentence, "You might be a woodworker if..." Here's a compilation of what our fans came up with! You might be a woodworker if... ...you store turning stock under your bed. ...there is sawdust in your belly button. ...you can count fractions on your fingers. ...instead of saying "2 inches" you say "eight quarters". Chris Nilluka ...you are more concerned about dust collection than about the 50 extremely sharp chisels and saws hiding under that pile of shavings. @SplinteredBoard ...there is more sawdust than lint in the lint screen in your dryer. @CustomMadecom ...you use sawdust as body powder ...you think your dandruff is sawdust ...you think the movie Saw was a woodworking video. pspsteve ...you wash your hair and sawdust clogs the drain. ...you stop to pick up a pallet on the side of the road for the white oak scrap. (yes, I have) ...you've picked through the dumpster at a custom cabinet shop for exotic wood scraps. (yes, I have) ...you give your wife Eau de Oak perfume for Christmas. (looked, but can't find any) ...you leave your $30,000 car in the driveway so you don't scratch your new tablesaw in the garage. Steve Hartman ...you've bought $3000 worth of tools to make $300 worth of furniture. Jeff Coyne ...your children's sandbox is filled with sawdust! Wayne Gregory ...you look at the sky and see a section that you think looks "curly"! Lance McNulty
...you know how to pronounce "ipe", and its country of origin.
...you know hollow ground has nothing to do with coffee
...someone says burl and your first thought isn't Ives
...someone says birdseye and your first thought isn't frozen vegetables
...you've ever asked yourself,"What would Norm do?" Steve Hartman (again!)
...you have sawdust in your bra (or underwear for the guys)
...you have a tape measure in your purse
...you go to the hardware store to calm your colicky baby
...you can't wait til nap time so you can build! Christin McCool
...you won't buy a piece of furniture because you know you could make it better and/or cheaper yourself (even though you know you probably won't). Nancy Barvick
...when you [blow] your nose part of your last project comes out. Craig Brown
...you can identify bubinga by smell. Michael Stadtler
...you've never uttered the phrase "You know, I think I've got enough clamps." Steve Hartman (again!)
...your key chain has a small tape measure on it. vermontsenior
...your check register has more Rockler entries than Walmart entries. Wayne Williams
...the only fiber you get is the sawdust floating in your coffee cup! @LagunaTools
...you run your hand over a piece of wooden furniture rather than just looking at it. @lackriver
...blowing your nose generates enough wood to build a child's toy. John Vallario
...you're short half a finger and you haven't actually bought Christmas gifts in 10 years. @mmfww
And... you might be a wood TURNER if...
...you buy a bandsaw that costs more than your lathe... for the sole purpose of rounding out bowl blanks.
...you feel this unexplainable emptiness every time you throw a piece of wood in the fire
...you have a hard time finding a pen around the house that isn't made of wood... and you give your wife and kids nasty looks any time they pick up a plastic pen.
...your wife doesn't bother to call around looking for you any more. She just goes out to the shop when she needs you for anything.
...you nearly caused a car accident because you thought you saw some logs on the side of the road...
...golf clubs? Yeah... they're around here somewhere.
...you name your kids "Chuck" and "Burl"
...you name your dogs "Banjo", "Jet", "Oliver", or "Spalty"
...at your spouse's suggestion, you put a telephone, TV, and refrigerator in your shop... so you don't have to "carry sawdust into the house all day."
...you really - honestly - whole-heartedly - are torn between taking that vacation in Hawaii and buying that new big lathe with the 24" swing.
...you think that any household item can - and should - be replaced by something you make... from table legs to the toilet paper roll holder.
...you've walked around your neighborhood ? checking your neighbors' trees for burls.
...Heat on in the shop? Absolutely. Heat on in the house? "Go put on a sweater."
For more signs that you might be a woodworker, click over to Kari Hultman's blog, The Village Carpenter. After I asked our followers for ideas, I found out Kari had done an almost identical post a few years ago called "You know you're a woodworker when..."! Her post has ALL different responses, so be sure to pop over and take a look.
Do you know even more signs that you might be a woodworker? Leave them in the comments!
Thank you all for being Buzz Saw readers. Rockler is a fabulous place, and I will miss it, and miss writing for you. Keep Creating with Confidence! -Kim